"Just

be content."

You know,

at the end of the day I am content, maybe even somewhat relieved, that I only have myself and a very few close friends(who may even live distances away). Call it stubborn, call it judgmental, call it a trust issue; it very well may be. Although, to perhaps rationalize the situation a bit in my defense, the only standard I have is genuineness; an honest, candid, loving, and adequately deep of a person. I don't feel I should have to compromise with my conscience to be a participant in some superficial friendship. One should not be arbitrated for wanting to be singular on weekends to rest, read a novel, catch a movie, exercise, or drive no where.


I cannot wait for life, I am beyond anxious.
My wings are flapping, any moment now I can take off, and just... Soar.

conclusion

After a nice inclined jog, minus over 500 calories, feeling nothing but invincible.. Within only a verse of a song that I have never heard before by an artist not of my choosing, then contemplating the lyrics... I am instantly shot down; drowning quickly in my own head, everything goes black, awoken by a flash, and I am suddenly reliving moments play by play, take by take in which I am in a constant battle with. Someone then hit the fast forward button, loneliness takes control, and now I find myself here in the midst of a stupid decision that I should not have to make: either draw this feeling out, close the blinds, watch one of those movies, and cuddle with my covers and memories or compete with this feeling, put my running shoes back on, and find myself miles away from home... Wait, what is home? Oh man, now I really got myself in a pickle.

Time for a run.

Where are you?

In the midst of trying to organize old documents I fumbled across something I wrote last year.. Realizing that it holds the same continuity for today, if not more.

It's perspective. Only when you see the ugliness of the world will you appreciate its actual beauty. Without Darkness we wouldn't know light. Without suffering we wouldn't understand grace. Without misery we wouldn't know happiness. Without seeing the wrong of immorality we wouldn't know right of honest proverb. Everyone is born with capacity to differentiate who we'll be in life, what we'll stand for, and what we'll partake. Where are you?

"I wuv you DeeDee"

Who knew that hearing, "I love you" froma 3 year olf could feel so rewarding? A childs concept of the word love is so precious and pure. There's not a greater fulfillment than being told "I love you" in a humans most genuine state.

Today, I can honestly proclaim that my heart has grown.

shhh

"The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept, in silence sealed. The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures. Whose charms are broken if revealed."

simplicity

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.."